Uncles!
by Cobalt1
Summary: Yes, MY version of Nighthawk's Uncles! idea. Family trees branch out in weird ways sometimes, let me tell you. A young girl meets her idol, who turns out to ber her uncle. But given who he is, will her life ever be sane again?
1. Fame, Fortune & Family. Well, two out of...

I must be out of my mind.  
  
ANOTHER fic?!? ARGH!  
  
OK, you can blame Nighthawk for this thing. He lives at:  
Nighthawk's Fanfiction http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Quasar/6189/   
  
I live at:  
Cobalt's Fanfics http://www.lum.co.uk/cobalt/   
  
C&C can be sent to cobalt@elhazard.net. Flames will be used to heat  
homes.  
  
Standard disclaimers apply. I don't own the series depicted within, but go buy  
them anyway.  
  
Conventions:  
~ ~ are used for thoughts and Telepathic communications.  
  
#######  
Uncles!  
#######  
  
########  
Prologue  
########  
  
Hiroshi Kawasaka hated earthquakes. For a Japanese native, this wasn't too surprising.  
But Hiroshi had a deeper, more personal reason to hate earthquakes. For you see, Hiroshi  
worked in the Japanese National Records office. Now located in Tokyo, after the Kobe  
earthquake destroyed the old site there, Hiroshi had the task of sorting all the recovered  
records from the completely destroyed Family Registers section. Oh sure the families had  
their own copies, as did the local offices, but this was the place where all the  
government agencies came.  
"Hum..." The clerk adjusted his glasses as he read the latest sheet in the pile. ~  
Only ten more and this lot can go to the archive. Thank the Kami the Diet agreed to  
computerise the records. ~  
"OK. Professor Sokuke Tomoe (formerly Hibiki) married Kikimo Saotome. One daughter,  
Hotaru." He mutters as he types. "Both rather young at the time I see. Sigh Young  
love."  
He finishes typing and hits return, committing the information to disc before turning to  
the next page.  
  
***  
  
Setsuna Meioh (a.k.a. Sailor Pluto) was well versed in the detection of ripples in the  
time stream. She could tell by the feel of the ripple what sort of problem had occurred.  
However she was glad that the other Senshi were not around to see her attempt to hold  
back laughter as an extremely ticklish feeling rolled down her spine.  
She recovered quickly and checked the time stream. Nope, nothing. Shrugging to  
herself, she went back to what she had been doing.  
She never saw Crystal Tokyo flicker for a moment.  
  
#########  
Chapter 1  
#########  
  
Ranma Saotome was having a bad day. This was the norm for the pigtailed youth.  
Attacks, abuse, glomps, weirdness and food. Can't forget the food, especially if Akane  
made it.  
And for once he'd wanted to learn at school. 'Knowledge is power', 'Know your enemy,  
and know yourself', etc etc... It had been pounded into him over his time in Nerima that  
a smart warrior is a better warrior. The problem was nobody seemed willing to let him  
learn anything at school and, he reflected on his way back to the Tendo Dojo, he wasn't  
likely to get anything done at home.  
~ Sometimes I think the universe is out to get me. ~ Ranma thought morosely.  
  
***  
  
Kasumi looked up from her preparations at the sound of the phone ringing. Wondering who  
it was as she wiped her hands, she walked over to the phone and answered.  
"Hello, Tendo Dojo."  
"Yes he lives here but..."  
Kasumi was interrupted by the sound of the door opening.  
"Hi." Ranma's voice called out.  
"He's just arrived." Kasumi said into the phone. "Could you wait a moment? Thank  
you."  
Ranma popped his head round the door from the kitchen.  
"Hi Kasumi." Ranma greeted her. He was surprised to see her missing from the kitchen  
at this time of day. "What's up?"  
Kasumi beamed him one of her 'all is right with the world' smiles.  
"Telephone call for you."  
He looked at the older girl, then shrugged.  
"Thanks." He took the phone from her and let her get back to cooking dinner. "Hello,  
Ranma Saotome speaking."  
"Yes they are my parents." ~ Although I wished Genma wasn't. ~ He added silently.  
"Really? Do you have an address?" Ranma grabbed the notepad and pen Kasumi had made  
sure was left by the phone and began scribbling down what he was told.  
"Yes, I'll tell them. Thank you for telling us."  
"Goodbye."  
Ranma put the phone down. Then he carefully removed the top few sheets of the notepad  
and tucked them in a pocket.  
"Who was it Ranma?" Kasumi asked from the kitchen.  
"Someone from the government confirming some things." Ranma had long learned to hold  
back from telling Kasumi everything. Not that he didn't trust her; it was her sister he  
didn't trust. Nabiki had a way of messing his life up worse than it was.  
"I'll be upstairs for a bit." And with that he dashed off thinking one thing.  
~ I'm an uncle?!? ~  
  
***  
  
In a nice house on the outskirts of Juuban another telephone conversation had just  
finished. The sea green-hared lady who had answered it just stood there thoughtfully.  
"Who was it?" A voice called from the next room, prodding the lady to walk back in.  
"Someone from the adoption services."  
The lady's companion, an extremely tomboyish young woman (and you could only tell  
because her attributes were clear at the moment), looked up sharply and tensed.  
"And?"  
"They have located an uncle for Hotaru. He has the address so he will be contacting us  
shortly." She then smiled. "But they won't be considering transferring her to his care.  
Don't worry Haruka."  
Haruka relaxed.  
"That's good Michiru. I wouldn't want her upset over this."  
"So how was your shopping trip?"  
The blond sighed.  
"She hit me with the 'look' while we were out."  
"What did she get this time?" Michiru asked half resigned, half amused.  
"A Ranko wall scroll." The short-hared blond replied. "I have to admit, she's not bad  
looking."  
Michiru glared at her. Haruka smirked back.  
"Come off it love, I know you agree." As soon as the violinist assumed a mollified  
expression, she continued. "Besides, You prefer Shampoo don't you?"  
Michiru gaped. She'd believed THAT particular preference was a secret. Haruka just  
chuckled at her expression.  
"Humph. I bet you didn't know Setsuna has the Ranma and Ranko cuddly toys on her bed."  
Michiru shot back at the racer.  
"Really?" Came the surprised reply. "Which one does she prefer?"  
"I can't decide." A third voice told them as the woman in question came into the room.  
Her voice was half quoting as she stopped and posed. "I must have them both!"  
The resulting giggle attack lasted five minutes.  
"So." Setsuna started once they'd all calmed down. "I take it Hotaru's collection has  
expanded once again?"  
"Yes. A new wall scroll." Haruka shrugged. "I don't mind as it's helping her fit in  
more at school."  
Michiru smiled, then turned to the older woman.  
"Setsuna, did you know Hotaru had an uncle still alive?"  
The time senshi blinked.  
"Oh? Interesting."  
Haruka looked on incredulously.  
"You mean you didn't?"  
"Contrary to popular belief, I don't know everything." Setsuna explained tiredly. "I  
limit myself to what knowledge is necessary to maintain the time stream. Anything more is  
dangerous."  
The other two women nodded sagely. It had been pounded into them how dangerous  
foreknowledge of the future could be. Besides, Setsuna's statement caused them to relax  
slightly. If she didn't know, it meant it was probably not a threat.  
"Any information on this uncle?"  
Michiru shook her head.  
"Only that they've contacted him and he should be getting in touch soon."  
Setsuna smiled.  
"It will be a nice surprise for her."  
  
***  
  
The girl involved in these discussions was happily adjusting her posters so she could  
fit her new wall scroll up without blocking anything. This wasn't as hard as was first  
thought. Most of her posters were in her art portfolio books.  
She wanted them in pristine condition.  
However, her favourites were up there. Ranma working out in the Dojo's garden, Ranma in  
a flying kick, a group shot of the Nerima Wrecking Crew, Akane malleting Kuno into orbit  
and Ranko fighting her panda. Why she had a pet panda (not to mention how she managed to  
keep it) was one of the mysteries surrounding Ranma and the gang.  
Also up on the walls were three wall scrolls. Her new one of Ranko in a combat stance,  
one of Ranma walking along the fence top and one with Ranma and Ryoga in mid-combat.  
Hotaru stopped and looked around. On the bed there were a plush Panda and a plush cat  
with lavender-coloured highlights. On the shelves were videos, trading cards (She was  
missing the Doctor Tofu, Martial Arts Ice-skating match and the ultra-rare Gold Ranma  
cards), picture books, the rest of the cuddly toy set and the art portfolios.  
To say Hotaru Tomoe liked Ranma Saotome was like saying the sun was a bit hot.  
~ One day I'll meet him. ~ The purple-eyed girl thought. ~ He's so confident, so  
strong. Everybody likes him. ~ She took another look around her room.  
~ One day. ~ She swore.  
  
***  
  
"Where is that BAKA!?!"  
The terrible war cry echoed through the Tendo compound like the sound of a jumbo jet  
flying full throttle 3 metres over the roof.  
"Uh oh. This does not sound good." Ranma muttered to himself as he made his way down  
to dinner. He resolved to try and keep his mouth shut.  
  
That wasn't thunder you just heard. It was the sound of supernatural beings collapsing  
in laughter.  
  
~ The weather's acting up again. ~ A small part of Akane Tendo's mind noted. The  
bulk of it was seething in rage. However the object of her 'affections' wasn't playing  
fair by coming into the dining room completely silent. He merely nodded to those present  
and took his place at the table.  
Nabiki blinked. What was Ranma up to?  
Surprisingly, dinner was a quiet affair. With Ranma not saying anything Akane didn't  
mallet him, Genma and Soun didn't pester him and Nabiki had nothing to needle him over.  
"Thank you for the meal Kasumi." Ranma nodded as the ladies cleared up.  
"What's with you Ranma?" Akane exploded.  
Ranma sighed.  
"I just didn't fancy a malletin' today is all." He said as he got up. "Just 'cause you  
can't control your temper don't mean it ain't your fault you can't see the truth."  
WHAM!  
"Stop insulting me Ranma!" Akane told the twitching mess under her mallet.  
"That was uncalled for." Nodoka frowned at the young lady. Who didn't notice.  
"This BAKA insults me WHAM!, hangs off those two floozies WHAMWHAM!, insults my  
cooking WHAMWHAMWHAM!! and has the nerve to try and blame me?!?!  
WHAMWHAMWHAMWHAM!!!!!.  
"That's ENOUGH young lady." Kasumi told Akane.  
"Humph." Akane dismissed her mallet and wandered off.  
"I'll call Doctor Tofu." Nabiki sighed as Kasumi and Nodoka pealed Ranma off the floor.  
  
  
And yet another day began winding down.  
  
***  
  
~ Why does that tomboy have to fly off the handle? ~ Ranma wondered as he pulled his  
aching body up the stairs late that night. The good doctor had done what he could to heal  
the vicious beating the youngest Tendo had inflicted on him.  
~ Only Mom stood up for me, but even then she hid the fact I had an older sister. ~  
He complained. ~ Maybe I'll go see this niece of mine. Yeah, that's what I'll do! ~  
Slipping into his room, he got out his pack and started filling it Amazon-style using  
what little Hidden weapons he had picked up from Mousse and the speed increase of the  
Kachuu Tenshin Amaguriken. Once done he visited the kitchen for some food and left the  
Dojo.  
  
***  
  
~ Hum. Let's see. ~ Ranma studied the map in the train station, comfortable with his  
purchase of a thermos flask (now filled with hot water) to add to the pack on his back. ~  
They live... Where is it? Ah ha! There it is. And I'm... Here. Right. Then I just  
need to go past the park, up the high street... ~  
"Help! Thief!"  
Ranma casually stuck one of his feet back.  
~ ...Along this street... ~  
The would be thief ran towards the exit, inwardly smiling at the ease of the robbery  
when he tripped.  
~ ...Turn here, head up this road... ~ Ranma didn't notice the irate robber tripping,  
or when he got up and saw his foot sticking back.  
"Why you...!" He growled and lunged. Ranma deflected absently with one hand.  
~ ...Up to here when I turn right... ~  
The crowd looked on in wonder as the pigtailed martial artist defended himself without  
turning away from the map. Finally Ranma grabbed the fist thrown at him and twisted it  
(and the arm), pulling the robber closer.  
~ ...And then over here... ~  
The robber didn't know what hit him when a straight side kick to the midsection both  
doubled him over and threw him three metres back before he touched the floor.  
Ranma hadn't even wobbled.  
~ ...Round here and in here. Right, that's simple enough. ~  
The martial artist turned and walked away, not noticing the shocked looks of recognition  
from the crowd.  
  
***  
  
~ OK. Here's the park. ~ Ranma thought as he landed from his leap over the fence.  
A group of girls saw him as he walked through the park.  
"Oh my..."  
"Is that who I think it is?"  
Ranma turned towards them slightly as he looked for landmarks.  
"It is!" One squealed.  
"He's more handsome in person..."  
"He is A HUNK."  
"That pigtail is so cute."  
"I wonder what he looks like without his shirt?"  
There was a group blush at that comment.  
On the other side of the park, a gang of boys had also spotted the pigtailed youth.  
"Hey guys, check it out!"  
"Is that him?"  
"Course it is. Look at how he moves."  
"What about that back pack? It must weight a tonne."  
"chuckle You're probably right, considering who we're talking about."  
Both groups came to the same decision at the same time.  
"We've got to meet him."  
Meanwhile Ranma had been thinking.  
~ OK, so that building is the tower. Over there is the statue. So I want to go that  
way. ~ He paused. ~ And why is everyone staring at me? ~  
Taking a few quick steps he jumped the pond, bounded over the heads of some small kids  
into the trees then launched himself high into the sky to clear the park wall.  
Everyone had uniform expressions of awe on their face as he disappeared.  
"Wow! Did you see that?"  
"That was cool!"  
"I wanna know how he did that!"  
  
***  
  
~ It's down here to the end, then right. ~  
Ranma bumped a small child, causing the child to drop his lollypop. Quick as a flash  
Ranma caught it and presented it to the amazed child with a flourish.  
"Sorry about that little guy." Seeing the young boy still gaping at him he chuckled.  
"Don't worry about it." Ranma advised before straightening out and continuing on, patting  
him on the head as he walks away.  
"Yoshi!" A woman's voice calls and she comes up to the young boy.  
"Mama I met Ranma!"  
Smiling indulgently Yoshi's mother takes his hand.  
"Of course you did. Now we have to be getting home."  
Down the street Ranma got the feeling he was missing something.  
~ What's with people round here? ~ He wonders. ~ Everyone seems to stare at me. I  
don't look that weird. ~ He checks himself. Male; wearing his usual red Chinese top and  
black pants; hair in pigtail; carrying a large camping backpack.  
Nope, he couldn't see anything wrong.  
Checking his reflection in a window he stops, the other shoe dropping with all the force  
of one of Ryoga's umbrellas.  
In the shop window were posters, pictures, videos, trading cards and cuddly toys. Maybe  
a wall scroll or two at the back there. But that wasn't the kicker.  
Nearly all of them featured HIM.  
~ That's why is it? Nabiki, you are gonna pay BIG time. And it won't just be me. ~  
Ranma growled. Then he saw the kids joyfully playing with the toys. ~ Maybe you'll get  
lucky Nabs. ~ He looked a bit more and paled at all the girls with posters of HIM. And  
the boys with the picture books of his fights AND posters of 'Ranko'.  
~ I'd...best be going. ~ He thought, disappearing quickly down an alley so he could  
leap to the top of the buildings and roof-hop. Four fiances (Well three and a psycho  
gymnast) were MORE than enough.  
  
***  
  
Ding-dong.  
Michiru looked up in surprise at the sound of the doorbell. Putting down her book she  
rose to answer the door.  
~ I wonder who it is. ~ She thought as she opened the front door. And blinked.  
"Hi there." The young man on the front step greeted her. "Does Hotaru Tomoe live  
here?"  
"Um..." Michiru wasn't quite certain what to make of this. "Y..yes she does. Do..do  
you want to speak with her?"  
"Please."  
Michiru nodded. Had Hotaru entered some competition?  
"Hotaru! You have a visitor!"  
The purple-eyed young girl walk round the corner with a curious expression on her face.  
Who could be asking for her? Then she saw HIM. Her idol.  
HE looked at her.  
"Hotaru?" HE asked.  
She nodded dumbly. HE walked in and crouched down to look her in the eye, then smiled  
at her. One of those smiles that could raise the pulse in anything female.  
"Hi there. I'm your uncle Ranma."  
Hotaru fainted.  
  
***  
  
The view resolved into the ceiling of the living room. She was lying down on the couch.  
Why was she on the couch? Oh yes. She'd fainted. Why had she fainted...?  
Hotaru bolted upright.  
"Yeah, I've done that a few times myself Hotaru-chan." Ranma chucked at the wide-eyed  
look on his nieces face.  
~ Hotaru-chan? Ranma Saotome called me Hotaru-chan? MY idol called ME Hotaru-chan?!?  
And HE'S MY UNCLE?!?!? ~  
She turned to look at the concerned faces of her adoptive parents. There were other  
emotions there. Shock and amazement on Michiru's; keen-eyed interest from Haruka's and a  
smile and a nod from Setsuna. She turned back to Ranma. Her UNCLE Ranma.  
"Uncle!" She cried in joy. And glomped him.  
"Oof! Not bad." He gently put his arms around the young girl. "With a little practice  
you'll be a match for Shampoo."  
The elder women chuckled.  
"We'll start teaching her Chinese then." Haruka smirked.  
"No thanks." Ranma muttered. "I have enough trouble with Chinese Amazons." He looked  
around. "I was told Hotaru-chan..." Said girl hugged him tighter. "...Was livin' with  
her adopted parents."  
"That's us." Haruka pointed to Michiru and herself.  
Ranma gauged them with a critical eye. While they were waiting for the young girl to  
wake up they had introduced themselves. Ranma had thought Haruka was a guy for a few  
seconds, but the experience he had with cross dressers and feeling the decidedly female  
chi coming from 'him' clued him in very quickly. Besides, he figured three full-grown  
women (and he was VERY careful to only think of them that way) would know how to deal with  
a young girl. AND Kasumi had managed it while much younger than these three.  
"Nice to know she's been taken good care of."  
Haruka blinked. She'd expected some sort of comment about them being too young or  
something.  
Setsuna felt eyes on her.  
"I'm their housemate."  
Ranma nodded. "Hotaru-chan, do you mind letting up a bit? I do need ta breath you  
know."  
Haruka sniggered.  
"What do you expect? We only found out she had an uncle yesterday. Then you show up  
and we find out her uncle is her idol."  
Ranma winced.  
"Yeah, I kinda saw all the stuff in the shops. Figures Nabiki'd do something like this  
and not tell us."  
"You didn't know?" Michiru asked surprised.  
"Na. Nabiki wouldn't wanna lose profits."  
"That sounds rather..."  
"Mercenary?" Michiru nodded. "She ain't that bad. Some of it goes ta repair the Dojo.  
Life ain't exactly easy on it."  
"I thought all the craziness was made up myself." Setsuna commented.  
"Knowin' Nabiki, she calmed it down probably."  
All four of the ladies stared at him.  
"What do ya know?"  
Hotaru spoke up.  
"Well, you've got four girlfriends..."  
"Snort THAT'S wrong."  
"...Several rivals for their affections..."  
"Not that I wanted them."  
"...An idiot for a father..."  
"Oh THAT'S true. He wrecked my life."  
"...A hentai old letch for a master..."  
"HE ain't my master." Ranma growled.  
"...Shampoo's great-grandma trying to get you to marry her, super powered martial arts  
battles all the time..."  
"It ain't all the time. There's the crazy plans and magical stuff."  
The older women's eyes narrowed at that.  
"...Ranko Tendo and her panda helping out..."  
Ranma's eyes narrowed.  
"...All the cute pets wandering around..."  
"Eh?"  
"...The fun school..."  
"FUN?!?"  
"...Wacky teachers..."  
"Wacky? Try weirder than heck."  
"...And all your friends."  
"...Friends?" Ranma echoed faintly. "I don't think I have many friends."  
There was silence for a few moments.  
"So things are different from what we know." Haruka stated.  
"Yeah, basically."  
Before they could launch into a detailed Q&A session, Michiru's watch alarm went off.  
The ladies groaned.  
"We're supposed to meet the others in ten minutes." Michiru sighed.  
Hotaru eep'ed and let go of Ranma before dashing off to her room.  
"Well, that's one way to get her to let go." Setsuna noted.  
"She will probably want you to go along." Michiru told Ranma.  
"I don't know..."  
"You'll agree." Haruka smiled slyly. "She'll use the 'look' on you. The problem is we  
don't have enough space in the car for all of us."  
"The 'look'?" Ranma asked weakly. "Wide, sparkling, puppy-dog eyes? Trembling lower  
lip? Hand together, half praying half begging?"  
Haruka, Michiru and Setsuna all solemnly nodded.  
"Why me?" The martial artist sighed. "Did I anger some Kami in a past life or  
somethin'?"  
"Uncle Ranma?" Hotaru's hopeful voice came from behind him.  
Sighing, he turned.  
"Yes Hotaru-chan?" He asked.  
"Will you come with us?" She went straight for the kill.  
"Argh. OK, OK. Just turn it off will ya?" Ranma flustered.  
Hotaru giggled and did so.  
"Yep, I angered some Kami." Ranma muttered.  
"Now that's sorted out, how are we going to get there?" Haruka asked. "My car doesn't  
have enough room for all of us."  
Ranma looked at what his niece was wearing. Long skirt, blouse and jumper. It'd do.  
"Well if my devious niece here can lead me there..."  
The girl giggled and nodded.  
"...I can take her. You three go on ahead. I need to explain some things to Hotaru-  
chan."  
"OK." Haruka said uncertainly.  
As the others left, Ranma turned his attention to his niece.  
"Hotaru-chan?"  
"Yes?" She looked up at him.  
"Are you afraid of heights?"  
  
***  
  
"Is it just me, or does the day seem warmer all of a sudden?" Michiru asked wryly as  
they rode to the meeting at the shrine.  
"What the hell is it about him?" Haruka wondered. "No guy's EVER done that to me."  
"He is...intriguing, isn't he?" Setsuna chuckled.  
"I shudder to think what the others will say." Haruka grinned evilly.  
"Ooo. Bad Girl." Michiru smirked.  
"You like me that way, don't you?" Haruka replied slyly.  
"Are you going to drive or initiate foreplay?" Setsuna asked blandly.  
  
***  
  
Hotaru was having the ride of her life as Ranma carried her over the rooftops.  
"Which way from here?" He asked as he cleared the gap of a major street.  
"That way!" She pointed. The young girl couldn't believe how fast they were covering  
the distance. It DID have the advantage of going straight there.  
  
***  
  
"Well, this is a turn up for the books." Rei commented as the elder Senshi came in.  
"The Senshi of Time is late."  
Setsuna wisely said nothing.  
"Sorry we're late, but something came up." Haruka apologised. "And your watch is fast  
Rei."  
"They're right Rei." Ami told the fire priestess. "They are right on time. You are  
probably just used to them being here earlier."  
Rei glared at the studious senshi. Why couldn't she ONCE win an argument with Haruka?  
"Where's Hotaru?" Usagi asked.  
"That is what came up." Setsuna stated. "She should be arriving..."  
A faint shriek of laughter came from outside.  
"Now." She finished.  
Wondering what was going on, the Inner Senshi rose and made it to the door as Ranma  
crested the hill. Barely touching down he cleared the courtyard to land a few metres in  
front of the group.  
"I wonder if this is how Setsuna usually feels?" Michiru whispered to Haruka.  
As he put down a madly grinning Hotaru, the Inners got a good look at the person in  
front of them.  
"Am I seeing things?" Minako drooled.  
"Only if you're seeing what I'm seeing." Makoto replied, eyeing the young man in front  
of them hungrily.  
Ami looked to the end of the courtyard, to Ranma, and back again.  
"How...?" She had a faint blush on her cheeks.  
"Oh wow." Usagi stared.  
"Impressive." Mamoru nodded at the feat just performed.  
Rei was trembling from the feelings of raw vitality rolling off the young man.  
Still grinning hugely, Hotaru turned to the others.  
"Hi everyone! Meet my uncle Ranma."  
Five sets of eyes opened as wide as they would go, and Mamoru blinked.  
"UNCLE?!?"  
  
***  
  
A technician looked up as one of the seismographs in Tokyo blipped an alert for a  
second. Sighing, he wandered over.  
~ A short, single, huge spike? ~ He blinked. ~ Weird. ~ He checked the maps. ~  
Juuban? ~ Pondering for a few seconds, he shrugged. ~ Whatever. ~  
Too bad for him that Nerima was monitored in the next room over, otherwise he'd have  
recognised the event.  



	2. Normal Day? What's that?

Blame Nighthawk for this thing. He lives at:  
Nighthawk's Fanfiction http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Quasar/6189/   
  
I live at:  
Cobalt's Fanfics http://www.lum.co.uk/cobalt/   
  
C&C can be sent to cobalt@elhazard.net. Flames will be used to heat  
homes.  
  
Standard disclaimers apply. I don't own the series depicted within, but  
go buy them anyway.  
  
Conventions:  
~ ~ are used for thoughts and Telepathic communications.  
  
#######  
Uncles!  
#######  
  
#########  
Chapter 2  
#########  
  
It was a fairly ordinary scene for the Hikawa Jinja Shrine. A group  
of friends had gathered for a chat, some snacks and to relax. This was  
a front put up by the super powered group of heroes known as the Sailor  
Senshi.  
How better to hide strategy sessions, intelligence briefings and  
general gossip mongering as just plain gossip mongering?  
There were two things different about this gathering. One was that  
two of those usually attending (a pair of intelligent talking alien  
cats) were hiding behind the stack of cushions currently being used by a  
pair of drooling (but NOT jealous. NONONONONO.) young ladies staring at  
the second reason. They had a guest.  
Ranma Saotome. Martial Artist extraordinaire, purveyor of chaos,  
popular legend of Tokyo (although Nabiki had plans to extend her  
operations to cover all of Japan in the near future) and...  
Uncle to Hotaru Tomoe.  
Said girl had stopped her (rather accurate) Shampoo impersonation  
(clinging to him like a barnacle) and had settled for sitting on her  
uncle's lap.  
It was fairly quiet actually. The Inners were trying to recover from  
the unexpected announcement. The Outers were amusedly watching the  
others gape, stare, drool and, in Ranma's case, nervously look around.  
"So..." Ami started. "When did you two find out you were related?"  
"Yesterday." Ranma replied simply.  
Rei blinked.  
"Don't you find that a little odd?" She asked.  
"Not really. My life's worse usually." Ranma shrugged.  
"Come off it." Makoto jumped in. "It can't be that bad. Four  
girlfriends..."  
"That ain't true." Ranma interjected.  
"You mentioned that before we came here uncle." Hotaru said. It  
still made her a bit giddy. Ranma Saotome was her uncle!  
"How could they NOT be your girlfriends?" Minako asked. ~ Does that  
mean he's available? ~  
"Well Akane and Ukyo are my fiances, Shampoo is by the laws of her  
village my wife and Kodachi..." He shuddered. "Let's not go there."  
"FIANCES?!? PLURAL?!?" Came the expected shout.  
"Well it was more, but we managed to get rid of them." He paused.  
"Considering how I got those other fianc,s I probably got more out  
there."  
"Oh Kay..." Minako decided to NOT ask.  
"Uncle?" Hotaru asked timidly.  
"Yeah Hotaru-chan?" He smiled. Makoto and Minako fainted. Ami  
blushed slightly and the other ladies felt warm all of a sudden.  
"Why are you afraid of cats?"  
The smile vanished. Ranma's face hardened before he sighed.  
"A bad training experience. Idiot Pop tried to teach me this special  
technique called the Neko-Ken." Two Moon cats and one time senshi  
paled. "It ended up sorta working but gave me a really big fear of  
cats. I can't help but freak out when I'm around one and its very  
dangerous if I'm stuck around one any length of time." He shuddered.  
"You don't want to know."  
Hotaru gave her uncle a brief hug.  
"You do seem to have problems with animals." Michiru noted.  
"Yes, how does Ranko keep a panda?" Ami asked.  
"Oh, the panda looks after himself." Ranma smirked. ~ Always  
looking out for number one eh Pop? ~  
Meanwhile, behind the cushions...  
"He knows the Neko-Ken!?!" Artemis hissed quietly. "What sort of  
idiot trains his son in a forbidden style?!?"  
"I don't know." Luna whispered back. "But we really need to stay  
clear until we can cure him."  
"That's going to be hard, considering."  
Luna sighed.  
"I know. We need to talk to Pluto about this."  
Makoto and Minako had recovered by this time.  
"Um... Ranma-san?" Makoto asked. "Can you show us a few moves?"  
"Well, I dunno." Ranma flustered a bit. "I mean, you're a first Dan  
in Karate, Haruka's a second Dan and ...um...Mamoru right?" Mamoru  
nodded. "Mamoru-san knows some Kendo..." He paused for a bit. "I'd say  
you'd be first Dan, it's close. But I usually fight people who'd cream  
you in seconds. Heck even Kuno'd take you down in a minute, but that's  
only because he's too dumb to give up after you flattened him."  
Everyone blinked owlishly.  
"Wow..." Makoto breathed. He could tell what rank she was just by  
looking?  
"You ARE good." Haruka whistled appreciatively.  
"Yeah well, I was kinda hoping to get to know my niece here." Ranma  
began looking for a way out. He couldn't believe he'd got through this  
long around this many strangers (Pretty Ladies, as the Old Pervert  
Happosai would say) without SOMEthing crazy happening. Like his curse.  
Usagi, showing that she did have some sense and wasn't a dumpling head  
like Rei kept saying, figured that Ranma wanted some privacy with  
Hotaru. She tossed a look to Haruka and Michiru.  
"Well, OK." Haruka sighed. "But she needs to be back home by five."  
"No problem." Ranma smirked, hiding his relief at getting out of  
there. "Where'd ya want ta go Hotaru-chan?"  
"Um..." Hotaru thought for a second. "Ice cream!"  
Ranma gave a pained groan.  
~ What is it with girls and ice cream? ~  
"Fine." He dislodged his niece from his lap to stand up. "It was  
nice meetin' you. Comin' O devious niece O mine?" Ranma drawled.  
Hotaru giggled.  
"Of course, O mighty uncle." She replied before waving goodbye to her  
friends and headed out of room with Ranma.  
  
***  
  
Back at the Tendo household things were becoming hectic. No one had  
seen Ranma since last night, and that was giving Nabiki fits. Why the  
damage costs from rampaging fianc,s alone set her migraine off.  
Akane was getting the evil glare from the parents. Over the course of  
the day, Ukyo and Shampoo had visited (with the Amazon once again  
forgetting to use the door) with their typical "Where is Ranma?"  
requests. This had led to the usual confrontation between the visitors  
as to who was the better choice for Ranma. The byplay was a little  
stilted, as the person in question was not there to be included in the  
routine (i.e. He didn't get beaten in the crossfire or malleted by  
Akane.), but it still produced a yelling match comparable to any that  
actually involved the pig-tailed young man.  
What really annoyed Nabiki was that she didn't make any money from it.  
~ When I get my hands on you Ranma, you are going to pay. I've still  
got those pieces of underwear for you to try on. ~  
If Nabiki knew what would happen when she executed her plan of  
revenge, she'd run screaming for the hills. Or at least the bank.  
  
***  
  
Hotaru was in heaven. Here she was, eating ice cream with her idol.  
That her idol was also her uncle pushed her delight up a bit. Only two  
things could improve this, but she was too young and she doubted he'd  
ever ridden a motorcycle.  
Ranma was not nervous. Nope, not at all. He was merely on constant  
lookout for trouble. Yeah, that was it. All the looks and whispers  
around the ice cream shop were not getting to him.  
No, they were NOT. So there.  
"Anything wrong uncle?"  
Ranma inwardly winced at Hotaru's innocent question. How was he going  
to tell her (a young girl enjoying her ice cream with a family member)  
that he (said family member and idol to the young girl) was jumpy for  
several reasons? These reasons included his newfound fame, his newfound  
family (which were combined in his niece) and the fact he hadn't been  
attacked, glomped, malleted, drugged or splashed in the past 24 hours  
and therefore had a bad feeling he was due?  
The last alone would be trouble enough.  
"No, why'd ya think that?" Ranma smiled to try and put off his niece.  
"You're playing with your ice cream bowl." Which was true. Even  
without using Anything Goes eating techniques he'd finished quickly.  
Ranma was saved further questioning when the shopkeeper came up. He  
had recognised the pig-tailed young man and had an idea for publicity.  
"Do you want anything else?" The shopkeeper asked.  
Ranma was about to say no, but his stomach growled.  
"I don't have that much cash on me." Ranma replied. ~ Nabiki takes  
all the rest. ~ He added silently.  
The shopkeeper put on a show of thinking about the problem.  
"Well... There is the Super Mt. Fuji Sunday which is free if you can  
finish it all by yourself."  
Hotaru paused mid-scoop.  
"The Mt. Fuji?" She squeaked. "Nobody's finished one without help."  
"Hotaru-chan." Ranma said patiently, as if he had to explain this  
every day. "Y'know I never back outta a challenge."  
"OK then." The shopkeeper smirked. "I'll go prepare one for you."  
The whispering increased.  
"It is him!"  
"He's going to try and conquer the Mt. Fuji!"  
"Who's that girl with him?"  
"She's so lucky!"  
"She's his niece!"  
"No way! You're kidding!"  
Ranma groaned and Hotaru blushed as the conversations continued.  
Finally their torture was ended as the shopkeeper came back with...  
...What Ranma thought was the largest ice cream he'd ever seen.  
It was set down in front of him with all the finesse of a master  
butler serving royalty. Hotaru looked at it in awe. Usagi had tried to  
master the Mt. Fuji by herself and only managed half. And no wonder.  
Two and a half feet of chocolate, vanilla and strawberry ice cream  
topped with strawberry syrup, hot chocolate fudge, nuts, sprinkles,  
cherries and sliced bananas. It must weigh several kilos and contained  
enough sugar to send some third world nations into diabetic shock.  
Ranma gauged his opponent with a critical eye.  
"Five minutes, tops."  
The shopkeeper began to feel a bit less sure of himself.  
Ranma picked up his spoon and was about to start when he paused.  
"Y'know, I've always wanted ta say this, and Ryoga would loose it if  
he found out..." He smirked evilly.  
The whole shop had quieted down to hear Ranma cry out...  
"ICE CREAM! PREPARE TO DIE!" He yelled as he started his attack.  
Those not stunned by the shout were stunned by speed that Ranma's  
hands moved as he ate. By the end of the first minute the top third of  
the mountainous confection was gone. By the end of the second minute  
the devastation was of cataclysmic proportions as the final quarter of  
the Sunday was sundered, and most of those watching had their jaws on  
the floor. By the end of the third minute it was all over as Ranma  
finished cleaning the bowl.  
"Got another?"  
"Wh..wh..wha?" The strain was too much, and the shopkeeper passed  
out.  
"Jeez, I didn't think he'd take it that badly." Ranma commented as he  
looked down at the unconscious man.  
  
***  
  
The meeting at the shrine had broken up, mainly because nobody had  
anything that could top a visiting legend like Ranma Saotome. However,  
this allowed Luna and Artemis to quickly track down Setsuna.  
"Pluto, we need to talk." Luna told her.  
Setsuna nodded and looked to the other Outer Senshi, who themselves  
nodded in understanding. Once they were out of hearing range, Setsuna  
sighed and turned to the waiting Moon cats.  
"I assume this is about Ranma."  
Artemis snorted sarcastically. "Really?"  
Luna bopped him on the nose.  
"Quiet you." She turned to Setsuna. "Have you any ideas on how to  
cure him? I'm quite certain you do not want someone that dangerous so  
close to Saturn."  
"Technically, Mr. Saotome is extremely dangerous with or without the  
Neko-Ken."  
"Now Pluto that's just hearsay..." Luna trailed off as Setsuna raised  
an eyebrow, as if she was asking the cat to disagree.  
"In any case, most if not all the treatments for the Neko-Ken require  
the subject to be recently trained in the technique. Ranma is too old  
for those, and the remaining two would end in Ranma's death."  
Luna slumped.  
"OK. That leaves plan B."  
"No. No way. Not in a million years. Uh uh." Artemis shook his  
head vigorously. "I am not wearing that."  
Setsuna slipped away as the two cats argued.  
  
***  
  
Ranma just shook his head as he led his niece away from the ice cream  
shop.  
~ Does nobody here believe that my life is real? ~ He wondered.  
Hotaru was also thinking about her uncle's life.  
~ It seems impossible that uncle Ranma's life is as crazy as ours. ~  
She mused. ~ Still its so cool how he does this stuff. ~ The young  
girl drifted off into full-blown idol worship.  
Ranma was rather enjoying something akin to a normal day. Well, as  
normal as his life got at any rate.  
It was a nice day. Mostly sunny with occasional cloud, a light  
breeze, birds were singing in the trees, people were going about their  
business as a dark ripple in the air disgorged a creature of  
concentrated evil and little kids playing happily in the park.  
Wait, go back one.  
A creature of concentrated evil...  
"A MONSTER!" Someone cried out.  
...That looked like a demented cross between a woman and an explosion  
in an ice cream factory. It was so silly looking in Ranma's opinion he  
burst out laughing.  
Hotaru looked at her uncle in shock as he clutched his sides  
"BWAHAHAHA!!! That's gotta be the silliest thing I've seen in...in...  
I don't know!" Ranma chortled. "What're ya supposed to be? The Snow  
Queen? HAHAHAHA!" Tears of laughter began rolling down his face.  
The monster saw the laughing pig-tailed young man and growled.  
~ How dare he laugh at my beautiful looks! ~ It fumed. One will  
notice that monsters have an...unusual... sense of beauty.  
It charged Ranma.  
Ranma, mindful of the fact he had his niece with him, shot himself  
forward to protect her. That didn't mean that he stopped chuckling as  
his rocket-like flying kick impacted.  
Very hard.  
Right in the monster's face.  
The crowd gasped in surprise when Ranma back flipped rather lazily  
away, positioning himself between the monster and Hotaru. Whispered  
conversations sprung up almost immediately.  
"That looks like..."  
"It can't be him, why would he be here...?"  
"Who else could it be?"  
"Mommy, Mommy! It's Ranma!"  
Oblivious to the discussions around them, the monster got up under  
Ranma's watchful gaze.  
"So," Ranma asked the ice cream cone from Hell casually. "You gotta  
problem? 'Cause I don't think the people here want a killer toothache."  
"Die human!" The ice monster lunged. Ranma dodged casually.  
"Gee, it almost feels like home. Someone's tryin' to kill me." A  
sharp flurry of blows to the head and midsection knocked the thing back  
a couple of metres. "Course something as dumb and silly looking as you  
hasn't gotta chance. Heck, even the tomboy can do better than you  
Tutti-Frutti."  
"RRAAAARRGGGHHHH!!!" The monster roared and resumed attacking at a  
furious pace.  
The vertical split kick sent it flying. Ranma held it for the  
monster's three-second flight time.  
"Baka monster. Ranma Saotome is no pushover."  
The crowd gasped as their whispered speculations were confirmed.  
The monster slowly climbed to its feet, wiped away the ooze that came  
from its busted lip, and growled.  
"Pitiful human. You cannot hope to defeat me. I will steal all your  
energy weaklings! HAHAHAHAHA!!" It turned its gaze on Ranma. "And  
I'll start with you, annoying insect!"  
Ranma raised an eyebrow.  
"You want my energy?"  
"Yes you foolish human!" The monster snarled as it approached.  
"Well, okay." Ranma shrugged. "If ya insist. Mouko Takabisha!"  
Now, given Ranma had not been in ANY trouble while fighting the  
monster, and that he had a niece (not to mention the other people) to  
protect, AND he had plenty of energy available as he hadn't been  
attacked today, meant that the chi attack was much larger than usual.  
It shot away from Ranma like a cannon shell, ripping up the ground as  
it passed before hitting the monster. It barely had time to scream  
before it exploded, sending flavoured sprinkles everywhere.  
"Bye bye Ms. Whippy." Ranma smirked as he dusted off his hands. "Or  
should that be 'whipped'?" He wondered aloud, walking back to his  
niece.  
Hotaru had watched, slightly out of it, as he'd dealt with the  
monster.  
"Hey Hotaru-chan? You OK?" Ranma asked.  
The purple-eyed girl blinked at him.  
Sighing, he picked his niece up.  
"Come on, I don't wanna make you late home." He took a few steps and  
launched himself into a nearby tree to catapult himself and passenger to  
the rooftops.  
  
***  
  
Tokyo TV, 10 minutes later...  
"...Although currently strong on the stock market, analysts expect the  
companies value to drop after today's announcement..."  
"Do you have to watch that?" Haruka asked exasperatedly. There was  
racing on another channel and she'd been waiting for weeks to see it all  
the way through.  
"Yes." Setsuna replied simply, knowing it would drive her fellow  
senshi up the wall. And Haruka was very good at driving.  
Michiru watched the byplay and shook her head sadly. It was nice that  
Setsuna was opening up to them however.  
"Come on Setsuna. It's not like you can't watch this later, or even  
find out the important points easily. You've got the Time Gate  
available."  
Setsuna raised an eyebrow.  
"You think the Time Gate is to be used for frivolous reasons like  
that?" She asked.  
"Just because you don't allow yourself to see the future doesn't mean  
you can't watch the past." Haruka countered. "Unless, of course,  
you're willing to let me watch the race from the gate later?"  
Michiru hummed thoughtfully.  
"That's not such a bad idea. It would certainly help with history  
assignments. I personally wouldn't mind seeing Beethoven composing."  
She smiled. "Should be very inspiring."  
"It was boring." Setsuna told them. "Just as the sacking of Rome was  
nothing like how Shakespeare portrayed it."  
"You take all the romance out of things." Haruka complained.  
"We interrupt this broadcast for a special news bulletin." The TV  
newscaster said, causing the Outers to pay it attention. "Not more than  
10 minutes ago, yet another monster attacked in the Juuban district."  
Three sets of eyes narrowed.  
"Tokyo TV has exclusive footage of the fight." And the scene switched  
to a wobbly handheld video recording.  
The monster looked fairly standard for the ones they usually fought.  
As they watched, something caught its attention and it moved off towards  
it. Only to be forced back due to a flying kick.  
"Isn't that...?" Michiru asked.  
"Looks like it." Haruka agreed.  
They watched and listened as the monster was thrown around with ease.  
"Not bad." Haruka commented.  
"Are we mastering the art of understatement?" Michiru jibed. "Even I  
can see that Ranma could, if he so wished, 'wipe the floor with us' I  
believe the phrase is. Even when we are transformed."  
Whatever else Haruka was about to say in reply was cut off in shock as  
the final move played out in front of them. Even an amateur in these  
matters would have realised the move was overkill as the monster died.  
The cameraperson was obviously in shock and didn't follow the man as he  
walked off screen. Whoever it was recovered enough to catch the man  
leap into a tree then disappear over the rooftops.  
"As you can see-" The TV died as Setsuna turned it off.  
"I think Ranma was right that things were different."  
"I'll say." Haruka agreed. "What was that?"  
"A monster of course." Setsuna smiled.  
"What is this, open season on me?" Haruka groaned.  
"I wouldn't mind hunting you." Michiru suggested slyly.  
The short-hared blond coughed into her fist.  
"Maybe later." She turned on the dusky-skinned senshi. "I meant that  
attack."  
Setsuna paused. "I would assume a chi attack of some sort. We can  
ask him."  
"Assuming he'll tell us."  
The sound of a key in a lock came from the front door.  
  
***  
  
Hotaru just lay in her uncle's arms. What was she supposed to do?  
Start roof hopping herself?  
~ That fight. Everyone knows Ranma's good, but that good? ~ She  
wondered.  
"Aha. We passed that on the way to the temple." Ranma muttered.  
"We'll have ya home in a bit Hotaru-chan."  
Hotaru just responded by snuggling up to her uncle. While she had  
done the occasional bout of roof hopping herself with the other Senshi  
when necessary, Ranma made it so much more...thrilling.  
Ranma bounced across the last rooftops before dropping down to the  
street.  
~ At least things have been quiet today. ~ Ranma thought, setting  
Hotaru down. Remember, this is Ranma. Any day he doesn't have to fight  
more than two challengers, deal with some insane plan, or get malleted  
into orbit is quiet to him.  
Hotaru smiled to herself as she dug out her keys. Having Ranma as an  
uncle was fun, no matter how crazy it was around him.  
"I'm home!" Hotaru called, only to be swamped by two babbling woman.  
Setsuna had hung back, and was fairly successful in hiding her smirk.  
"So." She asked Ranma. "Did you have a good time? The monster did  
not seem to be too much trouble."  
Ranma blinked and responded with a witty retort.  
"Eh?"  
"It was just on the news." Setsuna filled in.  
This information was assimilated and processed by Ranma's mind, and  
came to the inevitable conclusion.  
"Great." He groaned. "The gang'll find me easy. They'd probably  
take the place apart doing it too. I hate my life."  
Hotaru grabbed his arm and dragged him to the living room.  
"Come on uncle." She said, eager to get away from a pair of  
overanxious adopted parents. "You can tell them all about it."  
Haruka and Michiru watched in silent amusement, and a little sympathy,  
as Hotaru dragged a flustered Ranma into the living room.  
"This should be informative." Setsuna muttered, following them in.  
"Shall we?" Michiru smiled.  
"Lets." Haruka replied, gesturing grandly for her companion to go  
first.  
  
***  
  
Minako and Makoto sat on a bench, morose. The perfect man had been  
before them...  
AND HE WAS TAKEN!  
Worse one of their own, the youngest of them, was forever closer to  
him then they could ever be.  
"How could she be his niece?!?" Minako wailed.  
"Why oh why are all the good ones taken?" Makoto asked the stars  
above. Then she perked up. "At least he's going to be around often  
now."  
Minako stopped wailing.  
"That's right!"  
"And maybe he'll train us too." Visions of lean, well-muscled flesh  
rippling as katas were performed danced enticingly in her mind.  
"Hum..." Surprisingly, those same visions's were running through the  
blonde's mind as well. However, she had other concerns. "Maybe we can  
convince him to bring Ranko along too. That girl needs a serious  
attitude adjustment. How can someone with that figure be such a  
tomboy?" Minako complained. "Even Haruka isn't that bad."  
"You're right." Makoto agreed. "We could take her shopping, give her  
a make-over and go boy watching."  
"Yeah! And she can give us the inside scoop on his love life."  
The two of them smiled, feeling better.  
They haven't got a clue what they're getting into, do they?  
  
***  
  
"Chi blasts, ten metre jumps and roof hopping?" Setsuna was  
impressed. Ranma must be a certified Martial Arts master to do those  
sorts of thing.  
"Yeah, it ain't as good as some things I've seen but I ain't been  
beaten yet."  
"Then maybe you can help us out a bit." Michiru smiled. "You see,  
Hotaru has some health problems which mean she tires quickly. She also  
suffers from bullies."  
"You don't say..." The pig-tailed youth looked down at his niece.  
"Maybe I can do somethin' about that."  
"Really Uncle?" Hotaru asked hopefully.  
"'Course Hotaru-chan." Ranma smiled. "I'm the best remember?" He  
tickled her for emphasis, causing delighted giggles.  
Haruka smirked slightly as she came back in from the kitchen with the  
drinks. How many little girls could claim to have a tough guy like  
Ranma Saotome wrapped around her little finger. There she was, sitting  
on her uncles lap (having sat him down Hotaru had all but glomped him  
leaping there to sit) happy as could be. So intent on the tableau  
presented, the tall blond didn't notice the coffee table had moved  
slightly. The predictable happened.  
Haruka tripped and drinks were spilled...  
...Right onto Ranma.  
The three elder women watched in shock as the pig-tailed young man  
changed into an equally recognisable redheaded young woman.  
Hotaru noticed her pillow got soft and comfortable all of sudden. She  
looked up.  
"R..R...Ranko?"  
"Hehe... Sorry about this Hotaru-chan."  
Wide, expressive, purple eyes blinked back at her.  
Ranma sighed. It was explanation time again.  
  
***  
  
"Damn it." The clerk sighed. He hadn't been able to contact anyone  
at the house listed by phone, so he'd have to write a letter.  
From our vantage point we see the first line of the address.  
Hibiki residence...  
  
----------  
  
*Phew*  
  
Finally finished this. Hope you guys are happy.  
  
I ought to thank Nighthawk for C&C/Prereader duties. Since this whole  
thing is his fault, maybe I won't. Ah, to heck with it. Thanks.  
  



	3. Chaos, misunderstandings, and other norm...

Blame Nighthawk for this thing. He lives at:  
Nighthawk's Fanfiction   
  
C&C can be sent to cobalt@elhazard.net. Flames will be used to heat  
homes.  
  
Standard disclaimers apply. I don't own the series depicted within, but  
go buy them anyway.  
  
Conventions:  
~ ~ are used for thoughts and Telepathic communications.  
[[ ]] are used for Panda signs.  
  
#######  
Uncles!  
#######  
  
#########  
Chapter 3  
#########  
  
It takes a lot to surprise Setsuna. She IS the guardian of the Time  
Gate after all. She could, quite easily, claim to have seen it all.  
Therefore, instead of sitting there in stunned disbelief at Ranma's  
story, she calmly planned for a quick trip to a certain dojo for...  
Family business.  
Some of the few things that...upset...her (not that you would notice  
from her expressionless visage) were child abuse (this was particularly  
a concern since Hotaru came to live with them) and Genma's utter  
disregard for common sense. Since Genma was Hotaru's grandfather, this  
became a rather important concern.  
Ranma was sitting on a plastic mat in the kitchen while Hotaru and  
Michiru played with the curse. Haruka had wondered off, mumbling  
something about lights[1].  
"This is fun." Hotaru giggled.  
"It is fascinating." Michiru agreed. "Ami would love to see this."  
Ranma shuddered through a change.  
"She'd probably just consider me a freak." She muttered. "I've  
already made too much of an impression here." He sighed. "Could ya  
stop now?"  
Hotaru poured one last load of cold water on Ranma.  
"Sure Auntie Ranma." She giggled. "Or should that be Ranko?"  
Ranma just groaned.  
"I've gotta go dry off." She said, rising. "And change."  
"A white blouse and Jean skirt would suit you." Haruka jibbed from  
where she leaned against the doorframe. Ranma shot her a vicious glare.  
Michiru and Setsuna hid smiles as Hotaru squealed in delight.  
"What a great idea!"  
Ranma sighed.  
"I'm not playing dress up. `Sides, all I got is an extra shirt."  
"I'm sure we can find...something." Setsuna said casually.  
Ranma flashed her an annoyed look.  
"You ain't helpin'."  
"But it'll be fun!" Hotaru said, unleashing the 'Look' against her  
uncle/aunt.  
Ranma felt her resistance start to crumble. She really needed to  
fight back somehow. Then she realised exactly how to do that.  
"It'll be fine. I don't wanna put ya to any trouble." She replied,  
fighting fire with fire. The audience was rather shocked to see Ranma  
shoot the 'Look' right back at Hotaru.  
Hotaru herself was not used to this sort of fight back. Monsters  
tossing magical attacks, yes. This? No. Gathering her resolve, she  
stood up straighter.  
"Please..." Hotaru begged, putting new effort into the 'Look'.  
"But I don't wanna... Please don't..." Ranma-chan pleaded, matching  
the 'Look' iota for iota.  
The other Outer Senshi started backing further into the house.  
"Too...cute..." Haruka gasped.  
"I think I'm about to go into diabetic shock..." Michiru muttered.  
"I think a strategic withdrawal would be good about now." Setsuna  
recommended, a noticeable twitch developing.  
"Good idea." The other two agreed simultaneously.  
The three of them ran.  
  
***  
  
Ami finished off her homework a little later than she would usually  
have. The reason, although if you'd asked her she would have denied it,  
was a young man with a pigtail wearing a red Chinese shirt and black  
pants.  
Contrary to popular belief, Ami does notice boys. She's just  
rather...OK, extremely subdued about it. A faint blush from her is just  
about equivalent to abject drooling by any other girl.  
Let's leave her to her daydream of putting Ranma through a medical  
exam shall we?  
  
***  
  
The brave and fearless Sailor Uranus, in her mortal guise of Haruka  
Tenou, nervously peered round the doorframe into the living room.  
Finding a dry Ranma and quiet Hotaru she breathed a quiet sigh of  
relief. Apparently, Ranma had won. Signalling the all clear, the three  
women of the house re-entered the room.  
~ At least, ~ Haruka thought, ~ we now know WHY Michiru and I felt  
THAT way around him. ~  
"Everything...fine in here?" Michiru asked.  
"Yeah." Ranma replied. "Although Hotaru-chan here is kinda sad she  
didn't win."  
"But it would've been fun." The girl pouted quietly.  
Ranma playfully ruffled her hair.  
"For you maybe." He smiled at her to show he had no hard feelings.  
Haruka, Michiru and Setsuna refrained from saying anything.  
"Well, I gotta get goin'." Ranma continued. "School's tomorrow, and  
I need ta get back to Nerima. Preferably before it gets levelled."  
At that moment a new class of glomp was created.  
"Can you stay a bit longer?" Hotaru begged, unaware of the newfound  
strength she was using. "Pleasepleasepleaseplease?"  
By this time Ranma was turning blue, and thus resorted to one of his  
fathers techniques. The ever trusty Panda sign.  
[ [ Ack! Air! Can't breathe! ] ] The women were rather puzzled.  
How did he write on the sign? Where the heck did he get the sign from  
anyway?  
The sign flipped round.  
[[ Any time now would be good. ]] Flip. [[ Please? I don't think  
]] Flip [[ that Hotaru would really ]] Flip [[ like to kill her  
uncle. ]] Flip [[ Or you having to ]] Flip [[ explain it. ]]  
"Err... Ranma does have a...um...point Hotaru-chan." Michiru said.  
Haruka was still puzzling over where the heck he got the sign. Was he  
able to stick things in a pan-dimensional pocket? Setsuna was wondering  
how he was apparently able to write on seven sides of a two-sided sign.  
Especially when only one side could be used.  
Now she knew how Washu felt around Mihoshi.  
"Oh, OK..." Hotaru pouted severely and let go. Ranma gasped loudly,  
sucking in life-giving air.  
"I'll...er...visit when I can Hotaru-chan." Ranma muttered.  
"Really?" Hotaru asked in a small voice. Ranma hugged her gently.  
"'Course I will."  
Setsuna watched the scene with a stoic expression, before  
disappearing. She had things to do, as it was obvious that Ranma had  
not told them everything.  
Ranma looked up, and started looking around.  
"Hey, where did Setsuna-san go?" He asked.  
The remaining Outer Senshi blanched slightly. How in the heck were  
they going to explain Setsuna's annoying talent for disappearances?  
"She...er...does that sometimes." Michiru said uncertainly.  
"Cool." Ranma nodded. "It's almost as good as some of Pop's tricks.  
I wonder if she'd trade techniques sometime?"  
The Outers chuckled nervously, sweatdrops forming. What was with this  
guy?  
  
***  
  
Rei sat before the Great Fire, slowly meditating on the one called  
Ranma.  
~ It's not like he's our enemy, but... I sensed something about him.  
~  
The fire flared, and Rei briefly saw Ranma fighting a dragon while a  
mountain crumbled. A brief flicker, and the dragon was replaced by a  
flaming bird...a phoenix?  
Returning to herself Rei wondered what it meant, but was distracted by  
another flare of flame.  
The fire showed Ranko turning and being glomped by Hotaru? The young  
girl's eyes looked up in adoration to Ranko's kind ones. Ranko's head  
seemed to dip...  
Rei blinked, and the fire died down to its normal levels. Considering  
the vision, Rei came to a startling conclusion.  
~ Ranko is Hotaru's girlfriend?!? ~  
  
***  
  
In a house on the outskirts of Juuban, a young girl and her uncle  
sneezed.  
  
***  
  
Let's follow Rei's train of thought shall we?  
  
1)  
Hotaru was being raised by Haruka and Michiru.  
Haruka and Michiru love each other.  
Hotaru loves her parents.  
Children pick up habits from their parents.  
Hotaru's parents flirt with girls. (Each other mostly, but Haruka  
does so with others.)  
Hotaru's friends (i.e. the Inner Senshi) flirt with boys.  
Hence, Hotaru's preferences were at least confused.  
  
2)  
Hotaru adored Ranma.  
Hotaru had a crush on Ranma.  
Ranma is Hotaru's uncle.  
Uncle = Family = Not that way.  
Ranko hangs around Ranma.  
Ranma never mentioned Ranko as a suitor.  
  
3)  
Ranko apparently acts like a tomboy.  
Haruka acts like a tomboy.  
Thus, Hotaru would see Ranko as like Haruka.  
  
4)  
The vision showed Ranko and Hotaru hugging, with Ranko apparently  
heading to kiss the younger girl.  
Ranko IS like Haruka.  
  
Conclusion:  
Hotaru will transfer her crush on her Uncle Ranma to Ranko. Ranko  
will reciprocate.  
  
It's nice, logical, and completely wrong. But hey, no one's perfect.  
~ Well, it's...unusual, but I can't see any problems with it. Not  
after Haruka and Michiru. ~ Rei's gaze turned hard. ~ But if she  
tries anything before Hotaru is old enough... ~  
  
***  
  
Ranma shuddered as he started his trek back to the Tendo Dojo.  
~ Man, it's like a cold breeze came up. And I thought the weather  
was weird back in Nerima. ~  
  
***  
  
It was a room much like any other. The fact that Usagi Tsukino a.k.a  
Sailor Moon a.k.a the reincarnated Princess Serenity of the Moon was  
currently in it is a side point.  
"Ooo... Hotaru-chan's SOOO lucky!" Usagi gushed. "She gets her idol  
to be her uncle."  
"Usagi, this is not the time for you to be daydreaming. Ranma Saotome  
is dangerous."  
"He's heroic. Going up against a monster like that for Hotaru-  
chan..." Usagi sighed wistfully. "Just like Mamo-chan..."  
Luna rolled her eyes.  
"He's suffering from mental trauma. The Neko-Ken had been banned for  
centuries BEFORE the Moon Kingdom fell. Queen Serenity personally broke  
the leg of the last person who tried training their child in it."  
Usagi was looking at the advisor with wide eyes.  
"Was it that bad?"  
The cat looked at her Princess, and described the training process.  
Usagi got progressively paler as the explanation went on, until she  
clapped a hand over her mouth and dashed to the bathroom to throw up.  
It took five minutes for the drawn Usagi to re-enter her room. Luna  
still sat on the bed, a combination of sympathy and unfinished business  
on her face. It took another three minutes to finish the description of  
the Neko-Ken. At the end, sobs wracked Usagi's body and tears rolled  
down her face.  
Luna rubbed her against Usagi's leg to cheer her up.  
"It's a testament to his strength of will that he is as stable as he  
is." Luna admitted. "Given all that could have happened...."  
Usagi absently stroked Luna with one hand while she wiped away her  
tears with another.  
"Can we help him?" She asked.  
"Artemis and I have some...ideas..." Luna leaned into the stroking.  
"But nothing definite."  
  
***  
  
The sun was setting as the train bound for Nerima left the Juuban  
station. Ranma sat back and thought about his day.  
All in all, things had gone well. His niece accepted him, as did her  
adoptive parents and their friends. Which was a good thing in his book.  
It was nice to have some family now. He'd keep the others from finding  
out as best he could.  
The being famous thing, now that was a surprise. Nabiki was gonna get  
a serious talking too when he got back. Maybe he could threaten to tell  
the others or the police...?  
Wondering about the others brought up the fact he had been missing for  
a day. There might not even BE a Nerima to return to. Then there was  
that monster attack that got put on the news.  
Ranma slumped in his seat. He was SOOO doomed.  
  
***  
  
Hotaru was on an all time sugar high and couldn't get to sleep. It  
was all due to one thought going round and round in her head.  
~ I have an Uncle and he's Ranma Saotome! ~  
She stopped bouncing on her bed as another thought struck her.  
~ He's also my Aunt. He's Ranko Tendo! I'm one of the few people to  
know. I have a weird family. At least I'm not alone anymore. ~ The  
young girl paused and cocked her head in thought. ~ Haruka-papa and  
Michiru-mama have each other, but Setsuna-mama doesn't have anybody. ~  
Hotaru sighed.  
~ I know she likes me, and she likes Uncle Ranma. Even when he's  
Aunty Ranko...err...Ranma. ~  
The sometime Senshi of Silence smiled even as she yawned, the days  
exertions catching up finally.  
~ Maybe I can get Uncle Ranma and Setsuna-mama together. ~  
Congratulating herself on a good idea, she turned off the lights and  
snuggled down into bed. She drifted off with a smile on her face.  
  
***  
  
Ranma sneezed.  
~ Aw man! I hope I ain't coming down with somethin'. ~  
  
***  
  
There was a place that existed outside what we would consider the  
normal bounds of Space and Time. A place of mists, of potentiality, of  
a really good home cinema system for those times its guardian got REALLY  
bored. And here she comes, carrying her big assed key shaped staff.  
I wouldn't laugh if I were you. She packs a mean hook.  
Pluto didn't like secrets. Especially where they concerned those in  
contact with the Senshi. That went double for her 'family'.  
Which was why she was at the Time Gate now. Locating the start of  
Ranma's life she sat down to watch.  
She almost threw up at the cat fist training, even expecting it  
coming. She winced in sympathy at other parts of his training. She  
gaped in awe and fear as he fought Saffron and cried tears of happiness  
when Akane Tendo woke up.  
It was rather like a soap opera actually.  
So consumed by his life she continued watching into the future,  
instinctively jumping the present to a point eight months ahead. And  
paled.  
Snapping the Time Gate shut, she tried to regain control of herself.  
~ Nobody deserves that. ~ She thought grimly. ~ Especially not  
him. Thus it will not happen. ~  
  
***  
  
What unearthly horror could cause such a reaction in the stoic  
Guardian of Time? A nightmarish terror of Lovecraftian proportions? An  
unholy creature from before time began?  
Kasumi Tendo going to Azusa Shiratori for fashion advice?  
Some things are too horrible to contemplate.  
  
***  
  
"Where have you been Saotome?" Nabiki asked as Ranma walked back into  
the Tendo compound.  
"Away." Ranma said simply and headed back into the house.  
"Not good enough." Nabiki said, moving into his path.  
"Despite what ya think, you don't own me Tendo. I don't have ta  
explain anything I don't want to." He shoved past her. "Night Tendo."  
  
----------  
  
[1] The Sailor Starlights, for those who DIDN'T get the implication. If  
you don't know who they are, I'd brush up on your Sailor Moon knowledge.  
I'm sure the three Senshi behind you with implements of pain will be  
happy to help you.  
  
Yes, I know it's short and it's been a while. Life has not been good to   
me, and my insperation has dried up. Not a good thing. Maybe I'll get   
another chapter of *SOMETHING* done soon. 


End file.
